The Misadventures of SelfAppreciation Boy!
by se ga hikui
Summary: It’s the Misadventures of SelfAppreciation Boy and Bondage Boy, with appearances by Gaia the Salesman, Panny Springer, and other fun characters! NOT for children, yaoi, cursing, duel monstercentric and general stupidity! Discontinued
1. Dr Pink Heart Kawaii Slut ATTACKS!

Title: The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy!

Rating: R

Warnings: Cursing, DMG-bashing, YAOI!, and general stupidity.

Summary: It's the Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy, with appearances by Gaia the Salesman, Panny Springer, and other fun characters!

~~~~***~~~~

The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and his sidekick, Bondage Boy!

~~~~***~~~~

It was a sunny, sunny day in Domino City. 

Yugi Mutou was walking down the street, humming a very happy tune.

When all of a sudden…he was ATTACKED!!

The notoriously EVIL Dr. Pink Heart Kawaii Slut was standing over the hurt short person, laughing insanely.

Yugi gasped. "Why are you doing this, Dark Magician Girl?!"

"YOU CAN NOT ESCAPE, YUUUUUGI!!" She screamed in her high pitched nails-on-a-chalkboard voice. "FOR I AM DR. PINK HEART KAWAII SLUT, AND I WANT ALL THE HOT GAY MEN!!"

Yuugi thought he was doomed! But, just as he lost hope…

A shrill whine sounded in the distance.

"Why do I have to be the sidekick?!"

Because Melissa thought up your nickname second. Now get back to the script.

"…Stupid…oh no, Self-Appreciation Boy, look. Dr. Pink Heart Kawaii Slut is at it again."

MORE FEELING!

"OH NO, SELF-APPRECIATION BOY, LOOK!!!!!!! DR. PINK HEART KAWAII SLUT IS AT IT AGAIN!!! IS THAT BETTER?!?"

…muchly.

"…damn, Dark, can't you ever just READ the script? I'm the hero, and you're the dork-tastic sidekick!"

"Shut up, Celtic! At least I don't look like I'm MASTURBATING!"

Well, Melissa thinks you just have more to uhm…yeah. NOW, GET BACK TO THE SCRIPT!!

"Meep!"

And so, Self-Appreciation Boy looked at the predicament. He was shocked!

"I am shocked!" He said, his eyes widening.

Dr. Pink Heart Kawaii Slut laughed more insanely. Because she was more insane than she was 5 minutes ago.

"MUAHAHAHA!!! YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO BEAT ME!!" She said, while laughing insanely.

"…you're right." Self-Appreciation Boy said. "…because a CERTAIN 14 year old girl DIDN'T GIVE US WEAPONS, OR SUPERPOWERS!!"

__

…oops. Sorry about that! Here's a whacking stick.

And so, Self-Appreciation Boy had the Golden Whacking Stick of Doom bestowed upon him by the goddess of stupid one shots, and there was much rejoicing.

"Why don't I get a stick?! HUH?! I'm getting SO shafted here!" Bondage Boy screamed.

…and uhm…Bondage Boy had the Plastic Handcuffs That Cost A Dollar bestowed upon him by…uh…the lemurs…and there was MORE much rejoicing!

Self-Appreciation Boy laughed out loud. "Plastic Handcuffs! Bwahahaha!!"

"SHUT UP!"

Dr. Pink Heart Kawaii Slut had gotten much more evil, much more sinister, and even more slut-tastic!

WHAT WILL OUR HEROES DO?!?!

"Fuck you, My-Right-Hand-Is-My-Date BOY!!!" Bondage Boy screamed.

"You shut up, Tie Me Up and Fuck Me HARD Boy!!" Self-Appreciation Boy yelled.

…this is gonna be a long one.

~~~~***~~~~

"Gasp! I have a red wine stain on my precious white Persian poodle! WHATEVER SHALL I DO?!?!" A dark haired woman shrieked as she looked at the precious Persian poodle.

"Don't worry ma'am! With the new Feral Imp Stain Removal System, your troubles will be a thing of the past!" A bright, happy man said, riding up on a horse.

"How?"

"Let me show you!" The man on the horse picked the poodle up and gave it to the green imp thing behind him. "Now you will see---"

He stopped as the green imp popped the poodle into its mouth and swallowed.

"MY POODLE!!!!"

"Errr…my work is done, I hope you're satisfied, BYE!" He and his horse ran off.

~~~~***~~~~

DON'T LET THE KIDS WATCH!!! TURN TO ANOTHER CHANNEL!!

"Oh God…harder, my sexy, sexy superior…"

CHANGE IT!!! …while I grab my popcorn and drool at the sex-tastic lemon.

~~~~***~~~~

"Panny! Panny! Panny!" The crowd yelled.

"Hello, hello. Welcome to the Panny Springer Show! I'm Pandora your host and.." A tall man in a mask said, holding a microphone.

"PAAAAAANNY!!!!"

"…yes. Panny. Today's topic – Incest! Twin lovers who have cheated on their twins! Our first guest today is Akai! Akai, please, tell us your story."

"Well, Panny…I'm in love with my identical twin brother Rufus, and I-" The red-clad silver haired magician said, slouching in his seat.

The crowd booed.

"Go ahead, Akai."

"…and I love him with all my heart, but…I've been cheating on him."

"Cheating on him? With who?"

"…not with who Panny, with what. I've been cheating on him…with Demon Cross!"

"OOOOOOH!" The crowd yelled.

Panny looked shocked. "Demon Cross?"

"Yes, and…I'm pregnant, and I don't know who the baby's father is!" Akai put his face in his hands and cried.

"Well, Akai, we have both Demon Cross, and Rufus here today! Let's bring them out! They've heard everything!"

Akai sobbed more.

"DAMMIT, BITCH! What the hell is this [beep]! I can't [beep] believe this! You [beep] cheated on me, with that [beep] piece of mother [beeeeep] crap?! You [beeeeeeeeep] BITCH! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING!"

"I'm so sorry Rufus…so sorry…"

Panny sighed. "Would you like the paternity results?"

He pulled out an envelope. "In the case of unborn baby…Rufus…you are…NOT the father."

Akai screamed into his palms and ran off stage. Rufus followed.

Demon Cross just stood there, being all cross-y and demon-y.

~~~~***~~~~

Ahem. And we're back! When we last left our heroes, they were fighting each other, but they've made up!

Dr. Pink Heart Kawaii Slut laughed insane-est. She couldn't get any more insane. But she could get sluttier.

"Oh no, Bondage Boy! She is blinding me with her female body!"

"Me too, Self-Appreciation Boy! I can't see!!!"

ALL HOPE IS LOST!!!

"KUUUURIIIIIII!!!!" A brown fuzzball flew through the air. It hit Dr. Pink Heart Kawaii Slut, stunning her into putting clothes on.

"Fuck yeah!" A masculine voice yelled.

The man was clad in tight black leather and was wearing his black hair in a ponytail.

Oh my gosh! It's I-Make-Up-For-My Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy! And Obligatory Cute Thing!

"CHAOS?!" Both of the REAL heroes yelped.

"That's fucking right, you fuckin' queers! I'm here to save the FUCKIN DAY!"

"KURIIIIII!!"

"Oh. And Kuriboh's here too. We needed a cute thing. Now, Masturbation Boy! Finish her off!"

"It's SELF-APPRECIATION BOY!!" He yelled.

"…right! Masturbation Boy! Kill her with your Golden Whacking Stick of DOOM!!"

"..never mind…" Self-Appreciation Boy sighed.

He raised the stick over his head and brought it down on Dr. Pink Heart Kawaii Slut's head, killing her.

…YAY!!!!!

Bondage Boy leapt in to Self-Appreciation Boy's arms and began a long snog session.

"Fuck, Yuugi, you okay?!" I-Make-Up-For-My Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy asked the small boy.

"Uh…yeah…who are you?"

"Oh. I'm Chaos. Masturbation Boy is Celtic and Bondage Slut Boi is Dark. We're crime fighters…kinda."

"Oh…okay…I'm gonna go home now…and…sterilize my eyes…and maybe my ears while I'm at it…or my entire body…"

I-Make-Up-For-My Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy grinned, closing his eyes. He waved. "Okay! Bye bye!"

Yuugi stood up and started walking home again, muttering something about never using those cards in battle again.

Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy were still making out, and having a very good time.

I-Make-Up-For-My Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy grabbed The Guy From The Fake Commercial [Who is REALLY Gaia] and started snogging him.

And that concludes today's episode of The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy!

…damn I need a job…if I had money…I wouldn't write any more crap like this…oh! We're still rolling?!

THE END!!

~~~~***~~~~

Yeah. That was the STUPIDEST thing I have EVER written. This is most likely a one-shot…

I know, many want to know where the idea came from.

I have the Celtic Guardian figure…his right hand is molded to where he can hold his sword. Innocent, until seen by a yaoi fangirl.

I responded to it, and came up with Self-Appreciation Boy. Since it looks like he's finished/getting ready to masturbate.

Didya get confused at all the super heroes/villains? Here's a list!

Self-Appreciation Boy – Celtic Guardian

Bondage Boy – Dark Magician

I-Make-Up-For-My Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy – Magician of Black Chaos

And Obligatory Cute Thing – Kuriboh

Dr. Pink Heart Kawaii Slut – Dark Magician Girl [No, I DON'T like her. She needs to die a horrible death.]

Bring on the reviews! Tell me how stupid this was, flame me, praise me…whatever!


	2. 25 Percent More Stupid Humour FREE!

Title: The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy!

Rating: R

Warnings for this chapter: Cursing, YAOI!, and general stupidity.

Summary: It's the second installment in the Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy!

~~~~***~~~~

The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and his sidekick, Bondage Boy!

~~~~***~~~~

Hello, reader! As you can see, we didn't get canned!

"Thanks to my good looks!" Bondage Boy yelled.

"No, because of your incredible uke powers!" Self-Appreciation Boy yelled back.

Oh go fuck and make up! You two always do this! I'm outta here! Melissa can do her own narrating!

__

Oh crap! Now not only is it stupid, it's self-insertion too! …Better start narrating.

Ahem. Yeah! And Self-Appreciation Boy started fucking Bondage Boy out in the open and…

"WHAT?!" Both shrieked.

Oh. Better stick to the script! Sorry!

Gimme my job back! I wasn't serious Melissa!

Awwww!! That's not fair!

Yes it is! Get back into your italics!!

__

Damn you.

Anyway…It was once a again, a very sunny day, because nothing BAD ever happens on rainy days.

Our favourite superheroes were relaxing, and playing a game of 'Who Can Come Up With the Biggest Insult'. SO far, Self-Appreciation Boy was winning.

"I'm winning! BWAHAHAH!!"

Bondage Boy sighed and gave him the slanty-eyed look. "I sometimes wonder if you're a few crayons short of a box…"

"Is that supposed to make me upset?" Self-Appreciation Boy sneered.

Bondage Boy grinned. He fell into the trap. Now he would get some lovin'! "No…the only colours that are missing are the ugly ones."

Very smooth, Dark. That'll get anyone bedded.

__

The Narrator rolled her eyes, sighing.

Melissa. I told you to stop.

__

…see if YOU get a pay raise.

…I love you Melissa.

__

That's what I thought.

"Hey! We're the stars of the story!" Self-Appreciation Boy yelled.

I-Make-Up-For-My-Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy scoffed. "No…I am…now where'd Gaia get to? Hmm.."

He wandered off, looking for his semi-in-denial partner.

Obligatory Cute Thing wandered up. "Kurikurikuriiiiiiii!!"

"What is it, Cute Thing? Is Timmy stuck in a well?!" Self-Appreciation Boy asked frantically.

"…uhm, Celtic, honey…we don't KNOW any Timmies." Bondage Boy said, sighing.

"Ohhh…we don't? I thought we did…" Self-Appreciation Boy tilted his head.

Bondage Boy blinked. "Oh! A blond moment…wait! I never got to rub up sexily against you!"

Just then…the Crime-tastic alarm went off!!

"…crime-tastic? Damn, Melissa! You suck!"

__

Only on the weekends, honey. NOW GET BACK TO THE SCRIPT! I slave over a hot keyboard all day for this..and I get NO respect…

Self-Appreciation Boy scoffed. "Oh yeah, a REAL hot keyboard. All you do is look at yaoi hentai of Dark and I!"

"She has yaoi hentai?! But she's only—mppph!!"

And suddenly, Bondage Boy was attacked with the Ball Gag of Silence!

"Lemurlemurlemuuuuur!!"

Self-Appreciation Boy blinked. "Are those supposed to be lemurs?"

Yes. Melissa doesn't know what sound lemurs make, and she's been playing Pokemon obsessively.

__

MATE WITH BURAKKU, ERUFU [1]!! MAAAAAAAATE!!!!!

Bondage Boy's eyes widened. "MMMHH!!"

Self-Appreciation Boy flushed. "Stupid pervy fangirl…although I would like to mate with him…like right…GYAH!!!" He screamed.

For, right in front of him, was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

She had long, flowing, silky, glittery, beautiful, perfect, dazzling burnt sienna hair. Her perfect ocean blue eyes showed all of her intelligence, depth, and smartness [2]. And they were also flowing, silky, glittery, beautiful and perfect.

She had perfect 2532835348ZZZZZZ breasts that stuck out proudly from her chest, without causing her back problems. She wore a beautiful, perfect, dazzling black tube top, and a pair of the shortest shorts, showing off her very shapely legs.

OH DEAR GOD NO!!!! IT CAN'T BE!!!!

"Tee hee hee! Hello, Self-Appreciation Boy! My name is [insert random name like Blaze, Fyre, Princess, or random adjective here]."

Bondage Boy pulled the gag out of his mouth. "YOU!! YOU'RE THE EVIL MISTRESS MARY SUE!!!"

Suddenly, she turned into an evil snake like monster and turned to Bondage Boy. "Yessssssss…and I have your partner enssssssssssared in my trap!!"

Self-Appreciation Boy WAS ensnared in her beauty. Because that was the SPECIAL power of Mistress Mary Sue…

"Oh no! She can turn gay guys…STRAIGHT!!!" Bondage Boy shrieked. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! CELTIC!!!!!" He dove for his partner.

But it was too late for; Mistress Mary Sue had already taken him to her Straightness of DOOM cave.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! CELTIC!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!" Bondage Boy yelled to the sky, breaking down.

And Bondage Boy sobbed for his partner…but then he had an idea.

"I'll get him back! Mary Sue's have a weakness!! …I WILL GET MY ELF-BOY BACK YOU BITCH!!!!!" He yelled.

…

WHAT?!?! THERE'S NO MORE?!?! NOOOO!!! MELISSA!!!!!

__

…it's a cliffhanger! That's what all the other fics do, right?

DYAAAAAH!!!! And, the Narrator choked the Authoress until she WROTE MORE!

"WHAT?! YOU LEAVE IT THERE?!?!" Bondage Boy shrieked. "YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE MY POOR ELF-BOY IN HER STRAIGHT CLUTCHES UNTIL YOU THINK OF SOME MORE STUPID HUMOUR?!?!"

__

DYAAAH!! And the authoress RAN AWAY!

~~~~***~~~~

Yes. It ends there. I know this chapter is shorter than the other one…but the next one will be the end of this episode! And after that…well, I don't know what!

[1] Erufu = Elf , Burakku = Black. Meaning, I have Pokemon named after Duel Monsters. YAY FOR ME!

[2] Meaning, they were incredibly shallow.

…Review/compliment/complain/flame…I LOVE HEARING FROM YOOOOOOOOOOOU!


	3. And We Sink To A New Low

Title: The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy!

Rating: R

Warnings: Cursing, crossdressing, yaoi, Mary Sue bash-tasticness, loose VS. lose, and some sap. Because the fluff is cute.

Summary: It's the Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy, with appearances by Gaia the Salesman, Panny Springer, and other fun characters!

Disclaimer: Oops. Forgot to do this. Erufu?

Erufu: Mewissa don't own 'uugiou. She wish she does, but she don't. Cewtic says dat's a good thing.

Well, yes…on with the story.

~~~~***~~~~

…

"START THE CHAPTER!!! I HAVE TO SAVE MY ELF BOY!!!"

no…coffee…shut up…will start…

"NOW!!!!!"

Fuck you, Bondage Slut.

"DO I HAVE TO COME UP THERE??! CELTIC IS GETTING STRAIGHTER BY THE SECOND!!!"

Fine! You fucking bastard!

…

When we last left our heroes, the evil Mistress Mary Sue had taken Self-Appreciation Boy hostage!

"DYAAAAAAAH!!!!"

…and Bondage Boy was hysteric. He had been searching all night..but still could not find her lair!

"She's a Mary-Sue…what do they want?"

He typed on his computer, bringing up a spinny Mary-Sue 3D model.

"…the Mary Sue wants one thing. The love of her preferred character. Dear God…NO!!" Bondage Boy screamed. He started running.

GO! SAVE HIIIIIIIM!!!!

And thus, Bondage Boy began his perilous journey…

"I have no idea where to go." He said, stopping.

He had been so rash, he had forgotten to find her lair!

Suddenly, a red bubble floated down. And out of that bubble came..

"Hello, Bondage Boy! I'm The Good Ritual of the North, Luster!" The ritual monster spoke with a slightly fruity British accent.

"Uhm…hi. Why are you dressed like that?"

"…fangirlishness. But isn't the dress pretty?" Luster spun around, making his dark blue dress flutter.

"Uhm…yeah. I'm kind of in a hurry right now. My boyfriend has been captured by this evil Mary Sue…so I'll talk later, bye!" Bondage Boy tried to dash past.

Luster grabbed his shirt. "Uh uh uh, Bondage Boy! You need some materials!"

Luster waved his wand and suddenly Bondage Boy was in a violet dress with sparkly violet shoes.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! CROSS-DRESSING BOY IS MY COUSIN!! …I like the shoes. Kinky…but that's not the point!"

Luster grinned. "Well, those shoes are magical! And don't let—"

"THE GOOD RITUAL OF THE NORTH!! YOU MUST…hey, you're HOT!"

Oh great. I-Make-Up-For-My-Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy is here.

"I have to have two jobs…pimpin' ain't easy, y'know."

"PIMPING?! Just what the hell have you been doing, Chaos?" Gaia screamed as he walked on stage.

"N-nothing, sweetie…I was just joking! …I'll make it up to you by…" Chaos whispered in Gaia's ear.

Gaia turned a bright fuschia. "All right. But only this once! If you do anything else to piss me off, I'm going with Luster!" Gaia walked off stage.

Chaos sighed. "Yes, dear Anyway…I'M THE BAD RITUAL OF THE SOUTH!! But I'm willing to become The Neutral Ritual of No-Polarity, if Luster'll sleep with me and my boyfriend." He leered, lifting Luster's dress. "Mmm…sexy package. C'mon!" He grabbed Luster's hand.

"HEY! What about ME and MY BOYFRIEND?!?" Bondage Boy screamed.

"Just go—oooh---down the green brick---oh, stop it!---road! Mmm…Chaos…GAIA!!" Luster yelped as he disappeared.

"Fucking rip off of The Wizard of Oz…oh no…OHHH NO…"

__

No, you aren't gonna be in Kansas. How about…

Bondage Boy looked around. The flashing lights stunned him…

"HOLY SHIT!! LAS VEGAS!! COOOOL!!" Bondage Boy yelled. He looked down at the ground. "Green…CELTIC!!!" He ran off.

~~~~***~~~~

Self-Appreciation Boy, nay, Celtic sat in an isolated room, in a motel called 'Weak Walls'. The Mary Sue had rented the 'Foreshadowing' suite. 

His costume had been taken off, and he had been dressed in a dark green shirt and khaki pants.

"Ohhhhh my loooooove…where are yooooooou…my lovely Fyre Blaze Adjective…" He pined. The Mary Sue had brainwashed him into thinking that she was his One True Love…

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

But something was nagging at the back of his mind. A pair of haunting ice blue eyes…

He touched his aching crotch. "Oh…whose eyes are those? …so beautiful…" The door opened. "Fyre Blaze Adjective!"

"Yes, my love." Her perky breasts were larger, her eyes had changed colours, and her hair was still long and flowy. And she was wearing a string as her only piece of clothing.

He blinked in confusion as any and all arousal deserted him.

…what was wrong with him? 

"Oh honeeeeeeey…I got us married!! Now we'll be together forever!" She grinned, giggling happy.

~~~~***~~~~

Bondage Boy growled…the damn road had disappeared.

"FUCK!! CELLLLLLLLLTIIIIIIC…IF YOU CAN HEAR ME…YELL!!! …or SOMETHING!!"

When there was no answer, Bondage Boy slammed his fist against the wall.

~~~~***~~~~

Celtic stared in confusion as the wall smashed in.

"NOOOO!!!!! BONDAGE BOY!!!!" Fyre Blaze Adjective yelled, reverting to her true form.

Mistress Mary Sue's true form was that of a Medusa, complete with the snake hair and fangs.

Bondage Boy gasped and stepped back. "I have nothing to fight with…"

FIGHT HER WITH YOUR PRETTY!!!

"Well, gee, THANKS. How do I do that?" Bondage Boy snarked.

Just stand there and be cute!

"Fine." Bondage Boy stood in his place, smiling cutely. Soon the cute went to sexy…up until the point where he was stealing his partner's name.

Mistress Mary Sue screeched. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'M MEAAAAAAAAAALTINNG…but he's married to me!! BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! I DIDN'T LOOSE!!"

"You mean 'lose'." Bondage Boy said.

"I DIDN'T LOOSE!!!"

"LOSE."

"LOOSE!!"

"IT'S LOSE GOD DAMN IT!! THEY DIDN'T CHANGE THE FUCKING SPELLING!!"

"I'm melted, you know."

"Oh." Bondage Boy shrugged.

He rushed over to his partner. "Celtic!"

He smiled cutely. "Hi Dark. Why're you wearing that?"

Bondage Boy gaped. "You…you don't remember anything?"

"Should I?"

Bondage Boy bit his lip. "…yeah…"

The other boy kept smiling. "I like you. We should get together."

Bondage Boy grinned. "There's my answer…all right…"

Bondage Boy pushed the elf to the bed, and started suckling at his neck. "Mine."

"Yours…"

Aww…how cute…wait…DAMMIT…change the channel!

"Aaah! Dark!"

~~~~***~~~~

"Do you have unsightly facial hair? Like this Ghost of the Attic?" Gaia asked, gesturing to a black fuzzball. "Well, we can fix that for you!"

"You can?" The fuzzball asked.

"YES! With the Killer Needle Wax-Away System! You just applying it like so…" Gaia put on the wax and strips. "Then…you pull!" He ripped it off.

Or attempted to. The strip wouldn't budge. "God…damn it…cut to the user opinions!!"

A young man came on screen. "I used it! I used to be incredibly fuzzy." A picture of Silver Fang was shown. "But after using this system, I'm all bishounen and all the guys and all the girls want me!"

Gaia came back on screen. "Uhm…yes. Well, as you can tell, Ghost-boy is now all bishounen-y!" He gestured behind him.

Luster stood on the stage. "You just don't want to admit you ripped the thing's eyes out, do you?"

"MY EYYYYYYYYYYES!!!!!"

"Shut up! The system is only $19.95! Call the number on your screen! Sorry…no CODs, credit cards, checks, money orders, or Euros…Luster? Uhm…would you like to go out for dinner with me and Chaos?"

Luster smiled. "Of course."

~~~~***~~~~

"Mmm…Dark…I never wanna lose you again…protect me?" Celtic nuzzled against Dark's chest, sighing happily.

"I will…"

"But…I do have two questions."

"Yes, Celtic?"

"Why were you wearing that purple dress?"

"…because of the perverted authoress."

"Okay…and uh…" He flushed prettily, and leaned in, whispering something.

"Ohh…that…that's a secret, sweetie." Dark murmured, kissing Celtic's forehead. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Mmhmm…let me get…hey…where's my outfit?"

Dark glanced around. "I dunno.." He covered his mouth as he smirked. He had hidden it, wanting to see his elf-boy's cute little ass. "Guess I'll just have to carry you."

Celtic turned and blinked. "You hid it, didn't you?" He stood with his hands on his hips.

Dark drooled slightly as he stared at Celtic's crotch. "Yeah…but I missed you…"

"And yet, you HIDE my CLOTHES?!?! You bastard!" Celtic started whacking Dark in the head with a stick. "Give 'em back!!!"

Dark sighed happily as he was whacked. "Finally…back to normal."

~~~~***~~~~

I have decided I will have a lemon in the next chapter.

Also…in the next chapter, another character shows up…and a new organization is born!

Oh yeah! Hicky, I am really sorry I used your Luster characterization for mine…but it was too good to pass up! Forgive me?

Review, flame…comment, whatever. Just let me know you're reading this!


	4. THE LEMON!

Title: The Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy!

Rating: R

Warnings: Cursing, yaoi, insertion of reviewers, general stupidity.

Summary: It's the Misadventures of Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy, with appearances by Gaia the Salesman, Panny Springer, and other fun characters!

Disclaimer: Dammit…I haveta do it again?

Burakku: My turn! Melissa don't own it. She only wishes she does. 

Very good.

~~~~***~~~~

Well, everything was back to normal.

"Oh shit!" Bondage Boy ducked as a vase flew past his head. "I didn't mean it! HONEST!!"

He fell to the floor as he was pounced on. "Then SHOW me you didn't mean it." Self-Appreciation Boy was making up for lost time, apparently.

Bondage Boy grinned and pulled his partner into a teasing kiss. When the other man wanted more, he pulled away.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting up."

"Why?!"

Bondage Boy smirked as he stood, leaving his partner dazed. He began to walk away, swaying his hips a bit. "Because the floor is hard."

"Dammit!" Self-Appreciation Boy pointed to his crotch. "This REALLY HURTS!"  


"Then live up to your name, Masturbation Boy. Or do you need help?"

He grinned and walked over to the violet haired man, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I need help…help me…"

Bondage Boy inhaled sharply as the elf pressed their crotches together. "All right…"

Just then…the TV flickered on.

"Hello Self-Appreciation Boy…uh…boy!" The slightly fruity American voice of Pegasus J. Crawford said. "I see you're enjoying the time off?"

"Dammit, Pegsy, you always burst in just when we're goin' to do something!"

"I have a job for you. Job equals money."  


"Well, sex can equal money too, you know." Bondage Boy said.

"And it's not like we wouldn't have customers!" Self-Appreciation Boy added.

"…I'll turn you into toons."

"I think having chibis of ourselves that were indestructible would be fun." Self-Appreciation Boy snarked.

"I'll release Relinquished."

"Eep!" Bondage Boy squeaked. "Not that thing! We'll do it!"  


"Dark! You said we were gonna talk about all of our decisions! I can't believe-"

Bondage Boy silenced Self-Appreciation Boy with a kiss.

"…okay!" Self-Appreciation Boy grinned, leaning into Bondage Boy. "I guess we'll do it…but can we have a few hours off?"

"Wonderful! Your assignment is--:"

"WE"RE OVER, CHAOS!!" Gaia yelled as he stormed through the room.

"But why?! What'd I do?!" I-Make-Up-For-My-Inadequaces-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy whimpered.

"I saw you with that girl!"

"She was nothing!"

"SHUT UP! I'm going with Luster for a while…YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!" And he stormed off.

Pegasus sighed. "Would both of you shut up! I have a very important assignment for…oh dammit, where'd they GO?!"

Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy were currently in their bedroom, picking up where they left off.

…should I have you change the channel? Let's see what Melissa can come up with first. No code-names here…too damn long to type out.

The two men snuggled close together, preparing for an intense love making session.

But then! A giant…yellow….lemon…attacked?

…oh that's pathetic. Get Melissa over here!

__

What? I said I would have a lemon in the next chapter, and I did!

Hmm…you did say that…okay. But the readers are gonna lynch you.

__

Cool!

And thus, the big yellow lemon started squirting its citrus-y juices at our two heroes, who were thoroughly pissed off because they weren't able to screw.

"Dammit…go away, you stupid lemon! I wanna be with my boyfriend!"

"Lemoooooooon…lemonlemonlemonlemon!!!"

"Hehehe!" A little runt boy with cat eyes and red hair cackled as he floated upside down.

Self- Appreciation Boy sighed. "Wrong anime, Taruto."

"Eh? Oh..oops…sorry…bai bai!" Taruto disappeared, and so did the lemon.

"Finally! Dark-chan…"

"Celtic-kun?"

…

"BOTH OF YOU!! GET DOWN HERE NOW!"  


"Aww…dammit…Pegasus…man…"

"Later, love…I suppose." Bondage Boy kissed his partner on the nose.

They went down the stairs, Self-Appreciation Boy desperately rubbing his face against Bondage's Boy shoulder for some sort of release. Bondage Boy smiled and rubbed his cat-like lover's ears, delighting it the squeal it brought.

They sat down on the couch.

"What is it now, Pegasus?"

"You need a cover. And I have the perfect idea!"

"Oh really." Bondage Boy asked, cocking an eyebrow. "And that would be…?"

Pegasus smiled and clasped his hands together. "A combination flower shop/café!"

"…flowers?" Bondage Boy asked.

"A café?! …does that mean we get to make confectionery delights?" Self-Appreciation Boy asked.

"Uhh…no." Pegasus said.

"Awww…can we still get whipped cream? Why can't we have a strip club? That'd be unexpected!" Self-Appreciation Boy exclaimed. "And we'd make money!"

"Celtic…you scare me sometimes…"

"Was the whole role play thing last night too much for you? I thought you looked cute as Jounouchi!"

Bondage Boy flushed. "Shut up, I don't want them to know!"

"But it was so fun being Seto and getting you to be Jounouchi! The collar was so cute! Tonight, we can be Yuugi and Yami! YAY!"

Bondage Boy sighed. "No strip club…when will our shop open?"

"…In three minutes, and girls have seen you…"

Both of their eyes widened. "Oh…my…"

The ground began to shake. Water spilt…

Bondage Boy and Self-Appreciation Boy looked at each other. "FANGIRLS!"

The door to the shop burst open.

What seemed like millions of fangirls swarmed the shop. A few fanboys stood out, but the girls swallowed them up.

Bondage Boy and Self-Appreciation Boy walked out, in their uniforms.

Self-Appreciation Boy's outfit was a dark green apron with a light green shirt and black jeans. His hair was tucked behind his ears.

Bondage Boy had a similar out fit, but his apron was navy blue. He wore a lavender dress shirt, and black slacks. His hair was half pulled back, and what wasn't pulled back pooled around his shoulders.

Two girls pushed their way up to the front.

"Hi!" The first one said. "I'm Hicky!"

"And I'm Rae!"

They both grinned. "And we want you to FUCK! …now!"

Both men blinked. And flushed. "Well…ah…"

"Do it! We're ready!"

And they were. They had video cameras, photo cameras and various other recording devices.

"Erm…look over there! It's…ahh…YAMI AND YUUGI SIM PORN!!"

"PORN!"

Self-Appreciation Boy and Bondage Boy snuck out and ran into a moping I-Make-Up-For-My-Inadequacies-By-Being-A-Fucktard Guy, who was also in a uniform of a mauve apron, sheer black shirt and black slacks.

"Chaos! Fangirls! Trying…to kill us!" Self-Appreciation Boy panted. "Must..hide..take over…"

He sniffled. "I'm so sorry Gaia…I really didn't mean it…"

"Celtic, give up, he's still moping…he's no help! RUN!!"

The fangirls had flooded the house now…

What will our heroes do?

"We'll give 'em what they want!" Self-Appreciation Boy said, stripping down.

Bondage Boy grinned and kissed his partner, while stripping himself.

As the fangirls surrounded them…they began their 'show'.

~~~~***~~~~

After the fangirls had dispersed, having gotten a huge amount of hot boy on boy action, our two heroes snuggled up in their bed.

"Maa…nothing tonight…too tired…" Self-Appreciation Boy yawned, nuzzling in to Bondage Boy's chest.

"Of course, my precious elf." Bondage Boy murmured, stroking Self-Appreciation Boy's yellow-green. "Tomorrow is another day…"

"Eh…sleep..so tired…"

"Good night, Celtic."

"Good night, Dark. I love you."

"Love you too."

…

"Dark?"

"Yes?"

"Pegasus never gave us our job."

"Oh well."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aww…it's sap! YAY!

Also, big sankyuus to all my reviewers! I write faster because of you!

Hicky, Rae, hope you two liked your cameos. ^_^() 

Now, who else would like to be in a flower shop scene?

Hehe…did everyone like the lemon?

I have no real ideas for the next chapter. So it may be a while before I update. But next chapter, another episode of Panny Springer! And another insane cover tactic, in addition to the café and flower shop! And Self-Appreciation Boy plays the flute?! ALL THIS AND MORE IN CHAPTER 5… "It Can't Get Any Worse Than This!"


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